We followed the advice of the people helping her and did not make her responsible for reassuring us that she was all right.

When she was worried, we listened.

When she wanted an ordinary day, we tried not to turn it into a review of her feelings.

Ethan and I changed, too.

We did not get back together.

Our divorce had happened for reasons that survived the discovery of Derek’s manipulation.

Better communication did not make the old marriage a new one.

But we became better at being Lily’s parents.