My Daughter’s Bullies Visited Her Hospital Room Every Day—Then One of Them Asked, “Do You Really Have No Idea What She Did?”

But I learned to be careful about praising Madeline only when she sacrificed.

She did not need:

“You’re such a wonderful person,”

every time she helped someone.

So when she told me about Naomi, I said:

“That was kind.”

Then changed the subject.

Children should not learn that goodness earns parental love more reliably than ordinary existence.