I wrote down dates so I could distinguish what had been sent from what I meant to send and never managed.

The box slowly filled.

It was not organized like an accusation.

It was organized because I needed to find things.

Beside it, I kept a notebook.

Some entries were practical: a call made, a new address, a question to follow up.

Others were sentences I could not say to anyone else without turning a whole evening into a conversation about Elena.

In the second year, Chloe asked why her mother did not come to a school play.