Because she was my sister.

Because the invitation I eventually received to attend did not tell me why I had been left outside the earlier plans.

Because I hoped being present would make the distance easier, even if we could not discuss it properly in a ballroom.

She listened.

Then she told me how my quietness looked from her side: disapproval, reluctance, an older sister arriving late in a process she had refused to join.

I could understand the interpretation without accepting it as the truth.