But the counselor caught my eye and reminded me, gently, that a display of intense anger might make Hannah believe she had caused another crisis.

So I took a breath, and I looked directly at my daughter.

“Your mother’s death was never your fault, and never your responsibility,” I told her.

“You are not an obstacle standing between me and a loving family.

You are the loving family, Hannah.

You always have been.”

She looked down at her hands.

“What if you want to marry somebody else, later?” she asked.