When I asked whether he intended to control purchases for our daughter, he looked amused.

He said household discipline was important and that I was treating a straightforward budget like a personal attack.

I said that feeding a baby was not discretionary.

He responded by asking why I always wanted the last word.

For years I had responded to conversations like that by lowering my voice.

I thought peace meant choosing the right moment, and the right moment somehow never arrived.

After Hazel was born, the arguments had become more frequent.