I had grown so used to that state that I no longer registered it as suffering; it had simply become the texture of being alive.

And then a jury said the word guilty, and a judge said eight years, and a set of steel doors somewhere closed between my daughter and the man who had tried to kill her, and that night, for the first time, the ancient guard in the back of my brain finally stood down.

It had done its job.

The danger was contained.

I could rest.