I remembered the conversation so clearly that for a second I expected to hear him continue it from the next room.

Instead, I lifted the urn.

It was heavier than I expected, though I did not know what I had expected.

I sat on the living-room floor with it against my chest and cried until my throat hurt.

Afterward, I put it on a low cabinet where it would not fall.

I did not open it.

Opening it seemed like agreeing to the finality of what was inside.

I knew that was not rational.