For most of my marriage I had been terrified of exactly this accusation — of being the one who broke things, who failed to hold the family together, who could not keep the peace.

That fear had kept me compliant for years; the dread of being called the destroyer had made me endure a great deal rather than risk the charge.

And now the charge had been leveled, publicly, by Patricia to anyone who would listen, and I discovered that it had lost all its power to wound me, because I no longer accepted the premise underneath it.

The premise was that holding the family together was my job, and that its breaking was therefore my failure.