To decide I was being unfair to the people I loved.

And I did not do that, not because I am braver than other women but because my grandmother had trained the reflex out of me, one contract at a time, until I could no longer make myself unsee a warning just because seeing it was inconvenient.

I did not know, installing that camera, that they would lock me in that room.

I did not need to know.

I only needed to take seriously the possibility that the people telling me I was safe might be the people I most needed protection from.

That is the whole of it.