Had Celeste said I deserved it before or after the fall?

I could remember the railing hitting my wrist, but not which step I struck first.

“I don’t want to get something wrong,” I said.

“Then say what you remember and what you don’t,” Ortiz replied.

“You don’t have to fill the gaps.”

I nearly sobbed with relief.

She asked about earlier incidents.

I said there had been no fall before this one.