The rest, the documents did without me.

There is a temptation, in a story like this, to want the confrontation — the raised voice, the thrown accusation, the moment where you finally tell the person who wronged you exactly what they are, at volume, in front of witnesses.

I understand the appeal.

I felt the pull of it myself, more than once.

But I had learned something in eight years of my work that I only fully understood when I applied it to my own marriage: the confrontation is for you, not against them.

It relieves your own pressure.