My father had spent a sweltering July weekend helping him rebuild our back deck, the two of them sunburned and laughing over sawhorses.

My mother had sat beside his hospital bed for two days after his appendix came out, feeding him ice chips and bad jokes, while I was stranded on a business trip a thousand miles away and sick with guilt about it.

Every single Christmas, they gave him something they’d clearly thought about — never expensive, always exactly right, the kind of gift that tells a person they’ve been paid attention to.

And Damon, standing in our dining room with two thousand dollars of electronics for the family that had done none of those things, was proposing to give my parents nothing.