I had wanted a marriage.

I had wanted, after a lifetime of being seen as a fortune with a face attached, to be loved as a person, and I had built an elaborate two-year deception to get it, and I had gotten instead a split lip and a divorce and the confirmation of the exact loneliness I’d been trying to escape.

There is no victory in that.

There is only the grim satisfaction of having survived it intact, and the quieter, realer satisfaction of what I did with the surviving.