Shouldn’t the victory have healed me?

It should not have, and it did not, because justice and healing are two different accounts, kept in two different currencies, and paying off one does nothing to settle the other.

Justice is something you do to the situation.

Healing is something that happens, slowly, to you.

I needed both, and I pursued both, and I refused to let the speed of the first fool me into neglecting the patience the second required.

So if you are winning your case and still waking up afraid, I want you to know that nothing is wrong with you.