It made me less of a defendant in a trial I had been running alone since I was ten.

“She chose you because you were her world,” Lucas said.

“She would not have wanted you to use that love as a sentence.”

I cried into his coat the way a child cries when a door that has been locked finally opens, even if the room behind it is still full of absence.

Then I asked about the fire.

He closed his eyes.