It surprised me.

The possibility of ordinary happiness hadn’t disappeared.

It simply felt distant.

At the apartment, I put the baby supplies away.

The blue diaper bag stayed near a chair.

The bottle warmer went onto the kitchen counter.

I set our son’s sleeping space beside my bed according to the medical safety guidance we’d received, checked that it was properly assembled, and kept loose items out of the crib.

Then I sat on the mattress.