Ruth came regularly, bringing practical help and quiet company.

She had spent her working life keeping accounts for a medical clinic, and she understood the way a task could be broken into pieces when the whole of it became unbearable.

She also understood my father’s habit of making other people’s resources part of his plans.

When the family group chat began filling with wedding notices and remarks about my silence, Ruth watched me look at the phone every time it buzzed.

“You can stop listening for a while,” she said.