Not to decide which of us was the better parent.

To understand how we’d allowed the same situation to mean such different things.

I saw Toby’s danger.

Isabelle saw the danger and also the possible collapse of her relationship with Frank.

Her hesitation harmed our ability to respond together.

She acknowledged that.

I acknowledged that my anger sometimes made it difficult for her to tell me what she knew.

We didn’t pretend the problem disappeared after one appointment.