All of it.”

I have thought more about what Samantha said in that hospital bed than about almost anything else in my life, because in a few sentences, bruised and exhausted, she corrected an error I had built my entire adult self around.

I had always believed that the darkness was the more serious punishment — that to make someone vanish was the ultimate consequence, the thing people like the old me held over the world.

And she showed me, without meaning to teach me anything, that I had it exactly backward.