“You’re crazy,” Derek said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.

You came home early and broke into my private property.

That case belongs to me.”

“It’s a joint lockbox sitting in our shared hallway,” I said.

“And a fake signature on a state legal document is a felony.”

“Are you threatening me?” Derek asked.

“I’m asking you to explain why you printed an abandonment petition and left our four-year-old daughter alone on a couch,” I said.