“I don’t want her classmates asking her questions she isn’t ready for,” she said.

Still, privacy brought its own challenges.

One afternoon a parent at Willa’s school recognized me from a magazine and asked Elena whether the rumors were true.

Elena answered simply that our family was handling a private matter and that the children deserved privacy.

The parent apologized.

The conversation ended there.

I started attending a parenting workshop in Chicago, feeling ridiculous among exhausted adults discussing bedtime routines and snack negotiations.

Then I realized none of them had come because they knew everything.