I did not trap them, I said.

A trap would have been me ordering the lobster for them, or lying about who was paying, or sneaking out before I’d settled my own share.

I settled my share.

I tipped the staff well.

I told the manager, plainly, to bring the rest to the head of the table, because the rest belonged to the head of the table, it had always belonged to the head of the table, it had only ever landed on me because I let it.

All I did tonight was stop catching a bill that was never mine to catch.