My habit was equally flawed.

I kept everything running and then resented that he didn’t notice how frightened I was.

We tried practicing direct requests.

“I want you to tell me when you receive another call from the agency,” I said.

“Even if you think the news will upset me.”

“I will,” he answered.

“And I want to tell you when I am scared rather than pretending I have a solution.”

We failed sometimes.