I did not think: my mother is ill, and I must help her.

I thought: my mother is hiding something, and I am going to find out what.

I turned my mother’s suffering into a mystery about her character.

That is what a person does when they have stopped seeing someone as a person and started seeing them as a role — and a role that is malfunctioning invites suspicion, not compassion.

I had stopped seeing Rosa.

I was watching a housekeeper who had started behaving strangely, and I was getting suspicious.