She Ordered Me to Make My Crying Newborn Be Quiet or Get Out of Her House — Three Years Later I Sat at a Playground and Watched My Daughter Shriek With Joy at the Bottom of a Slide, Loud and Free and Afraid of No One

He had thought, when he said them, that he was being fair.

Even-handed.

A peacemaker refusing to take sides.

That is the story weak men tell themselves about their weakness, and it is a very flattering story, because it lets cowardice wear the costume of wisdom.

But there is no even hand between a person striking and a person being struck.

Neutrality, in the face of someone hurting someone else, is not neutrality at all; it is a decision, and the decision is always in favor of the one doing harm, because the one doing harm is the only one it benefits.

Brian had told himself for years that by refusing to choose, he was keeping the peace.