Knowing it was the curse.

You cannot un-know what your training shows you, and it was already showing me a cockpit in trouble and a seat with no one in it who could do what I could do.

Chapter 3 — A Pilot Doesn’t Leave People Behind

A flight attendant came down the aisle, scanning the rows, and her face was doing a poor job of carrying whatever she’d been told at the front of the plane.

She stopped at my row.