I was not in the room.

That is not negotiable and it is correct — a three-year-old’s account is worthless if the mother is sitting next to her — and I sat in a waiting area for fifty minutes and it was the longest fifty minutes of my life.

She said eleven things.

Two of them are quoted in the county attorney’s charging document.

The first was: “Grandma has the loud hair thing and I said no and she did it anyway.”

The second was in answer to a question about why she didn’t want to go home, and it is the one I have never been able to read out loud.