But I was not the only one feeding it, and I have had to make my peace with that too.

The whole extended family fed it.

The aunts who saw Holly cropped to the edge of the portrait and said nothing.

The uncles who noticed her alone at the kids’ table and looked away.

The cousins old enough to know better who took their iPads and their envelopes of cash and did not once ask why the little girl in the gold dress got a candle.

They were not cruel people, most of them.