And that is the entire event.

That is what happened at the wedding: a woman sat at the back, a bride gave a toast, a process server was paid a hundred and forty dollars and sent home, and a plywood box stayed in a van.

Nobody screamed.

Nobody went pale.

No husband walked out of a reception hall.

No video went anywhere.

Of the hundred and fifty-one people in that room, I would estimate that about forty understood what they had just watched, and that most of the rest thought it was a slightly unusual toast.

That is what the actual version of this looks like, and it is the reason I have written twenty-five parts about it, because the other version — the one with the crate open and a woman on the floor and everybody filming — takes ninety seconds to tell and would have destroyed four people.