‘Eventually fear became a habit.

That’s not a defense.

It’s what happened.’

I wanted her to blame Gerald, the threats, or Walter.

I wanted a clear villain that would let me place my anger in a single direction.

Helen refused to make the story easy.

She acknowledged that others had frightened her, but also that she had chosen not to reach out once I was old enough to make my own decisions.

‘You could have asked whether I wanted to know you,’ I said.