I love my sister ferociously and I would not trade her for a calmer model, but I will say that Margot is possibly the worst person on the planet to text in a genuine crisis, because she matches your panic and raises it, and then adds her own logistical needs on top.

Within ninety seconds of my first message she had told me to call the police, told me not to call the police, expressed concern for her own stress levels, and demanded to be kept updated in real time, which is to say she had been absolutely no help at all while somehow making me feel less alone, which is, I suppose, the whole function of a sister.

What neither of us did, in that entire frantic exchange, was pause for even one second to say: wait, does this actually make any sense?

Is this remotely consistent with the woman we both know?