But underneath, the old lesson was always running, always waiting, and all it needed was a shut door and a shifting weight to come roaring back up to the surface and take over completely.

We think we have healed from the things that hurt us young.

Often what we have actually done is bury them just deep enough that we forget they are there, right up until the morning something lifts the mattress and there they are, exactly as raw as the day we learned them.

So when I lifted that mattress and found something hidden, some old, deep, twelve-year-old part of me did not think oh, a harmless mystery.

It thought here it is again.