Not a reprimand.

A letter of counselling, which is the lightest formal thing that exists, and which stays in a file for two years and then comes out.

And I want to tell you what that four-line paragraph did to me, because it is disproportionate and I know it is disproportionate.

I had spent eleven months being told I was fine.

I had a hundred and forty-one pages saying that the thing I was most afraid of had not happened.

And I read paragraph 88 in a conference room in the following August and I went out into a corridor and stood against a wall.