The Night I Became a Colonel, My Mother-in-Law Cut My Hair While I Slept—By Morning, I Was Done Obeying Them

“That’s impossible.”

“That is why I called.”

“My signature?”

“There is a signature purporting to be yours.”

“I didn’t sign anything.”

“I know.”

“How?”

“Because you were at an Army leadership conference in Virginia on the date it was supposedly acknowledged.”