I did not sleep well and I lost about nine pounds and my hair started coming out in the shower in a way that alarmed me enough that I went to a doctor, who took one look at me and asked what was happening at home, and I said “nothing” and she wrote down “stress” and gave me a leaflet.

People assume it must have been agonizing to be near him.

It was worse than that.

It was easy.

That is the thing I could not get over for about two years afterward and had to spend real money discussing.

Nothing changed.

He did not behave differently.

He came home, he told me about his day, he complained about a supplier, he asked what I wanted to watch.