It was written the way a competent manager writes a project plan: phases, milestones, contingencies.

There was a note about my likely emotional state at each stage and how to steer it.

There was a line about Kai — a variable to be resolved, with a resolution already attached.

Reading your own murder laid out as a series of tidy deliverables does something to you that fear does not.

Fear at least treats you as alive.

This treated me as a task.