I did not want that.

I had lost enough already, my company nearly, my life nearly, my illusions about every person I trusted entirely.

I did not want to lose, on top of all of it, the ability to say that I had ended this cleanly, lawfully, with proof instead of blood.

So I chose the harder and colder path, which was to lie there defenseless and let the truth record itself, to catch my would-be murderers in the act and hand them, whole and living and thoroughly documented, to the law.

It required more nerve than a weapon would have.