Then I sat on the floor of my bedroom with my back against the bed and I did not move for about two hours.

I did not cry then either.

That came later, three weeks later, in a car in a grocery store parking lot, over nothing.

What I did instead, at some point around eleven, was get up and get my laptop.

And this is where I have to explain something about myself, which is that when I am hurt past a certain point, I stop feeling and start counting.

It is not a virtue.