She said she’d been the one who started it, that she’d been going through something, that she’d been lonely and stupid and she’d pushed and pushed and that Luca had told her no for a long time before he finally—

She said the words he tried to stop it.

She said the words he loves Jessi.

And through all of it — the entire eleven minutes of it — my husband sat on my sofa with his hands between his knees, looking at the floor, and did not say one single word.

I have replayed a lot of that year.

That is the part I have replayed most.

Because a twenty-four-year-old woman who had been in three foster placements before she was fourteen was on her knees on a carpet taking the entire weight of it onto herself, in front of the only family she had, and a thirty-six-year-old man who had spent eight months telling her his marriage was over sat four feet away and let her.