And I wanted, more than I had wanted anything in my adult life, to see it.

Part Two: The Four Things I Thought It Was

I sat in my own garage for two hours and eleven minutes, on a folding chair, next to a lawnmower, with my phone on silent.

I want to write down what I believed was happening during those two hours, because it is a record of a man’s mind doing something specific and, I think, common, and because the truth turned out to be none of it.

The first thing I thought was money.