Raghunathan’s instruction on this was absolute, and it was the hardest thing I have ever been asked to do.

She said: “You are going to have to say both halves in the same sentence, out loud, for about ten years.

“He liked you and he used you, and both of those happened, and you don’t have to choose one.

“Every time somebody in your family offers her a version where the nice parts didn’t happen, she has to defend him, in her head or out loud, and that costs her more than the original harm did.

“You be the one who holds both.