She told Bennie, who had cleaned for us since before Nell was born, that certain things were to be done differently, without mentioning it to either of us.

She began commenting on Nell’s clothes, then Nell’s food, then Nell’s schedule.

Twice she cancelled a playdate without telling anybody, and when I raised it she said she had thought Nell looked tired, and Toni said, “Mom, just ask us,” and that was the whole of the conflict.

And she had developed a habit, over those eighteen months, of talking about my job in a particular way.

Not hostile.