He had heard every cold word.

He had heard them plan the disposal of his life while his heart was still beating, and he had not been able to lift a finger to defend himself or even to let them know he was listening.

I try, sometimes, to imagine the loneliness of that, and I cannot reach the bottom of it.

To be surrounded by people and utterly alone.

To be present at the planning of your own end and counted, by everyone in the room, as already absent.