I caught myself by inches, both hands locked on the rail.

I want to be clear about what I did not do, because it is the whole of who I am.

I did not scream.

I did not shove her back.

I did not let the fear turn into rage and decide things for me in front of a dozen witnesses and a harbor full of phone cameras.

I held the rail until my knuckles ached and I breathed through the salt in my throat and I let the moment pass through me without becoming anything.