I had a child to think about.

From that moment on, I always would.

People have asked me, over the years, how I found the strength to keep walking down those steps, and the honest answer is that it was not strength, not the way people mean it.

It was that I had run out of other options, and that when a person runs out of options, they discover they can carry things they never believed they could.

I was not brave on that porch.