“I’ve never met the woman.

Neither of us has any idea what’s in that marriage.”

“I lost a grandchild too, you know.”

And Valerie said — and I will hear this for the rest of my life, in a stranger’s voice, on a landing, at a party I had been excluded from:

“She lost her daughter.

You lost a grandchild.

Those are not the same and you should know the difference by now.”

There was a silence of about three seconds.