I did not cry in the car.

I got a glass of water and sat at the kitchen table in the dark and waited.

There is one more thing from that landing that I have never been able to file anywhere.

At about half past eight, before Mason arrived, the doors opened and the boy came out on his own.

He had a plate with a slice of cake on it that he had clearly been given by somebody at a table who wanted to be kind, and he came out onto the landing and sat down on the second step of the stairs with it on his knees, out of sight of the room, and just sat there.

He did not eat any of it.