To you.

After what you went through.

I kept thinking, there’s no version of this that isn’t cruel, so let me just get it — let me just get it straight in my own head first, so that when I tell you I can also tell you what it means.”

And here is the thing.

I believe that he believed that.

I think that if you had put my husband under oath that night he would have said, honestly, that he had stayed silent to protect me.

I think he had told himself that for three months and I think it had worked.