It is a lesson I had learned the hard way, long before Gavin, in a very different context: that in almost any confrontation, the person who ends up looking like the aggressor loses, regardless of who actually started it, and that the discipline of visibly refusing to be the aggressor is worth more than any advantage force can buy.

The camera does not care about intentions.

The officer arriving on a scene does not know your heart.

What they see is a picture, in a single frame, and I had spent the entire day making sure that when that frame was finally captured, it showed the truth as plainly as possible: a man who forced his way in and attacked, and a woman who warned him, defended herself, and then immediately, visibly, stood down the instant help arrived.

I could not make Gavin behave well.